You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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