Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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