Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize