In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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