you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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