Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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