If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need water and some morals
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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