Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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