yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
