There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
organizing the empties. That sober.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
