road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Alive.
So much puke
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
