so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i out mim tonsoeep
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