Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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