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Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
