Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
