I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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