So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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