my phone needs a breathalizer
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
