It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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