actually, I'm a sock model
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
