I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
