Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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