I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
