I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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