You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
