I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
