Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
