I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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