Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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