see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
