I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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