OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
