dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
