Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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