I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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