I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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