god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm passing your future prison.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
