My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
