We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
