phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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