Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
