Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
