Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
