i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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