Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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