I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
