It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
