Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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