It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
