The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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