He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
