Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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