It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
