so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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