YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
