i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
