Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
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Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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