This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
