The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
